out from one hole to the next pit

Some days I imagine myself climbing a hill and tumbling into an abyss, then making the way up again only to fall again. It’s like a never-ending cycle of ups and downs.

I am at a stage where all the downs hit me so hard I’m bruised, tired and unmotivated. But under normal circumstances, there’s still a long way to go before I settle into the soil; this probably means I’ll need to work on the “take things easy” mantra which I haven’t been able to all my life.

Today I found my old sketch-book and realised it has been more than 3 years since my last sketch in it. A collection of sketches of Russian-influenced architecture, sights and more. I began to realise after reading this, that my lifestyle has been designed – that I have lost my free time, which has become so scarce that I can only do the necessities on weekends.

A month has past in this new year. It looks like more needs to be done; February, change must occur.


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