Do you remember those days when we would set an appointment with friends to meet at a specific time and place?
No. No-one remembers those days.
“What do you mean you won’t have a phone for a few days?”
“How in the world am I going to be able to find you later?”
“Which street, again?”
“What if I can’t make it at this time tomorrow?”
Do we wonder how we used to be able to remember days, dates, places, and directions so much better in the past?
More so – we were once more responsible.
We were more specific – we had to make sure we would see the ones we wished to see.
We were more organised – we planned our day and gave buffer for traveling and traffic.
We were more reliable – it wasn’t as easy as sending a text when we wanted to cancel appointments.
It wasn’t going offline that mattered. It was what the phone and laptops held that mattered. I did not suffer from phone separation technology, though I did get a good lashing from many for going off the grid. But really, how long can we remain offline?
Ah, the dangers of technology…
What did you want?
What did you decide?
What did you expect?
What didn’t you know?
What didn’t you understand?
What didn’t you get?
Some days, when expectations and hopes get high, disappointment strikes hard and misery cripples even the most rational of minds.
it’s been awhile since words were scribbled.
it’s been awhile since the mind worked.
it’s been awhile since the heart could express itself.
but such is life. when things die away, it takes time to get over it.
and sometimes, even time cannot heal.
The concept of worthlessness was thoroughly explored, examined, and assessed. It was great. It was immense. It was poignant. It was everything that made a person feel terrible. It was what made a person die inside. It was something that could kill. It was tedious. It was horrendous. It was ….
It was simply too tiring to complete this post.
“How much effort does it take to do this…?”
And she had no idea that to the rest of the world, it would have been too much to even ask from them, for that help, time, and commitment she was always so willing to offer.
So much more than anyone else could give in return.
Some people say things they don’t mean.
Others say things they don’t know if they mean.
Some times we trust.
Other times, we think we trust.
Some take words lightly.
Others take light words seriously.
How do we balance the emotions of indebtedness against the strong resistance to trust?
How do we tell when to say what we feel, and when to trust what others say they feel?
They told me “You’ll never find the answers”.
“She doesn’t like to talk about her past.”
“Why would she ever tell you things she’d kept in her heart since forever?”
“I don’t think she really knows either.”
“We’ve known her this long and she hasn’t said a thing about it.”
“She’s not going to open up to you.”
I guess they were right.
I never had to find the answers; she gave them to me.
It took time, trust, and an understanding – things that some did not want to spend or offer.
Now, if only they had used the time to listen, instead of speculating…